I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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