okay pat passed out under dana's car
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
