So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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