Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
