Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

Fav 16 3327 1035
share tweet
(415): View more from California

Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

Fav 21 5198 1143
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

(301): View more from Maryland

it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

Fav 14 821 3579
share tweet
(619): View more from California

I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

Fav 27 9168 1023
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(808): View more from Hawaii

You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

Fav 8 1445 5615
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

Fav 15 1366 5980
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

Fav 3 3166 1013
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul

Fav 4 801 757
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.

Fav 0 66 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT