I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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