No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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