is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
