She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We left the knife in your bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
