I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
