hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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