Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
