a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
