So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
