Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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