Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
