what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
