Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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