Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
