I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Do vagina's smell?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
