i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
