Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
