You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
