he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize