He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
