chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
