What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
