HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
soo... how was my night?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
