I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
