I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it because I queefed?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
