this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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