Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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