you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
