Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
