I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
