We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.