So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.