This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars