ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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