Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW? http://tfl.nu/6356
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn. http://tfl.nu/0pkd
  Replies (12) Good night (748) Bad night (3655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94
  Replies (27) Good night (4187) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do? http://tfl.nu/tx29
  Replies (46) Good night (8650) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1262) Bad night (1577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk http://tfl.nu/yaqj
  Replies (11) Good night (701) Bad night (1677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together. http://tfl.nu/r78i
  Replies (6) Good night (3388) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1718) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): How do you feel? (1-970): Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again. http://tfl.nu/th8n
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp
  Replies (4) Good night (296) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan http://tfl.nu/6u1u
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Is this the acid talking?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive. (1-256): Is this the acid talking? http://tfl.nu/txi2
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"? (214): Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments. http://tfl.nu/ino1
  Replies (1) Good night (1733) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine. http://tfl.nu/bpq4
  Replies (1) Good night (1095) Bad night (235)

Randomize