Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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