well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
