Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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