he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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