$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
