How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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