it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
