She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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