super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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