Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How does one acquire holy water?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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