This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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