I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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