Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
