The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
