It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
