This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
