I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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