its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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