Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
