No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
