I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize