Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
