seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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