I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize