you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
its liver damage thursday
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
