I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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