I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
