butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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