You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
